Seeing as I've been procrastinating on starting this blog, this seemed like as good a place as any to start, so here we go...
Making excuses. (A pep talk.)
It's something we all do. We learn it as kids when we don't want to clean our rooms or go to school. The thing about excuses is that sometimes they are actually legitimate. For the sake of contrast, let's call legitimate excuses reasons. Only mature self-evaluation can really answer whether something is an excuse or a reason.
Now, I can't tell you how to attain a sense of mature self-evaluation but I may be able to provide a couple of useful tips on how to make that judgement call. In my best moments (god knows I have my worst), I am able to find a place in myself that speaks to me like a firm but loving parent - one that doesn't buy any bullsh*t, and sees me for my potential. From that 3rd party place in myself, I try to ascertain whether the reason I'm not doing something I know I should be (exercising/stretching, etc.) - or doing something I know I shouldn't be (slouching, procrastinating or distracting myself with internet) - is because I am making excuses, or because I am cutting myself some necessary slack. (whew! that was a hell of a run-on. stay with me.) ...In effect: "Am I escaping for the sake of escaping, or providing a necessary escape?"
Another important distinction to make in this type of scenario is whether you're feeling sorry for yourself or having empathy and care for yourself. I've found that it's incredibly important to discern. Your mood could be the first indicator:
~If you're feeling pretty low, you're probably feeling sorry for yourself. You're probably making decisions based on a feeling of unfairness and using a self-righteous sort of behavior justification. You're probably making excuses, and thus allowing your pain to be a crutch... Are you making yourself a victim so you can avoid doing what you don't want to do? It's a hard thing to look at, but it's necessary if you want to get out of your own way.... Conversely, maybe you're getting in your own way by being too hard on yourself. You can check out your self-talk to get a good idea of this as well.
~If you're feeling more calm and patient, maybe even inspired, then you're probably in a place of caring for yourself. You're more likely to make better decisions for your health and healing. You're able to recognize a good reason to give yourself a break, and to do so - which is vital.
It's not always that black and white, but these markers can be a good place to start. Feeling sorry for yourself is disempowering. Feeling empathy and care for yourself is healing and ultimately empowering.
If you're feeling the latter, you are more likely to make the kinds of decisions you will thank yourself for later (like meditating, finishing that project, or cooking a good meal at home over eating out.) You will also be more likely to give yourself rest and time to recuperate when you NEED it - not just when you want it.
Living with chronic pain is HARD. It is most definitely valid to know when your body needs a break, but it's equally important to know when it needs a push. For some people it's much harder to give themselves a break, and for some it's much harder to know when to push themselves. I tend to swing both ways.
At the risk of sounding preachy, I'll stop there. I don't intend every blog post to read like a self-help seminar, but I do hope that people find these musings helpful.
CLOSING THOUGHTS:
It's REALLY easy to get swept away in the rushing river that is chronic pain. It may not always be overwhelming, but it's always moving. It's always there. There are times when the eddies will keep you from moving forward in your life, but it's important to know when you're the one planting your feet in the river bed, choosing not to move. Ultimately, changing your outlook on your pain and how it limits you and finding a good balance of self care and pushing yourself is likely to make living with chronic pain more bearable. Attitude really does make a huge difference.
Here's a good article on how to change bad habits in to good ones:
And here's another article I found that i liked on getting out of your own way that takes from the principles of Aikido (something I wanna try one of these days... when I get around to it.) ;)
